As we’ve said on multiple occasions, running is the rulingest shit in the world, but it can make your body go weird. Not that how you look matters. It doesn’t. But then it does. We all know folks should be judging you on your good character, but unfortunately, folks are assholes, and they judge you on your appearance, and if you want to bed down with a folk, you gotta get some muscles to attract a potential folk-mate. By the way, I’m speaking to both the dudes and the ladies here. You can’t expect to look like a prime specimen for procreation if all you ever do is run. You gotta throw in some all-round strength work, and the cheapest and best way to do that is with a single kettlebell.
Photography & Video: Ben Murphy
People are crazy. They pay through the nose for gym memberships or invest in silly home gyms that eventually end up on the street with a ‘FREE’ sign taped to them. But you don’t need to waste money on any of that—you just need one measly little kettlebell. And unlike that massive bench press you threw out, kettlebells are the size of those things you use to heat water on the stove, so they take up very little space. And they cost nothing! You can probably pick one up on Marketplace for twenty bucks, or you might even find one on the street that someone threw out. The real best thing about kettlebells, though, is what they’ll do for your running form. Any strength work will improve your performance, but single kettlebell work quickly improves balance. So, if you’re one of those runners who occasionally stumbles into bushes or trips over their own feet, the humble kettlebell is for you.
Below are four basic exercises to get you started on your kettlebell journey, but we recommend looking up other stuff (Romanian deadlifts, overhead tricep extensions, etc). Ideally, you want to run through eight to ten exercises two or three times, but what we have here is a great place to start. Choosing a kettlebell weight: it’s recommended that men go with 12-16KG to begin with and 8-12KG for women.
Disclaimer: If you hurt yourself doing any of this, it’s on you. Come on, we didn’t put a gun to your head.
Unlike that massive bench press you threw out, kettlebells are the size of those things you use to heat water on the stove, so they take up very little space.
Kettlebell Swing
The kettlebell swing is the first cab off the rank because it’s a good way to get your heart rate up. Before you start, though, do some warm-ups: arm circles, shoulder rolls, star jumps, whatever floats your boat. Once you’ve warmed up, start with your legs a little over hip-width apart and hold the kettlebell with an overhand grip at your groin. Your arms should be straight, your shoulders back, your core engaged, and a determined look should be in your eye. Start swinging by hinging at the hips and bringing the kettlebell between your legs, then back up so that it’s about chest height, then back through your legs again. Not too far between your legs—just a little bit. And it’s important to keep a very small, soft bend in the knees. It’s also critical that the kettlebell never leaves the hands. Do this over and over for 40 seconds. Break for 20 seconds before doing another set.
Goblet Squat
I like to think of these as Goblin Squats because I feel like a naughty little goblin getting up to mischief in the woods when I do them. He-he-he. Hold the kettlebell at chest height, either by the horns or upside down, and with your feet hip-width apart and your toes pointing out slightly, start squatting. Keep your back straight and your core engaged, and go as deep into the squat as feels comfortable, then come back up again. Be sure to execute this move in a steady, controlled fashion, especially if you haven’t done much squatting before. And don’t overdo it with the depth because you can really set fire to your hamstrings, which can put you out of the running game for a few days. Even shallow squats with a light kettlebell will leave you with crazy sore legs, so be a clever little goblin and take it easy. Two or three 40-second sets with 20-second rests between.
Strict Press
A Strict Press is just a Shoulder Press. I don’t know why they call it a Strict Press. Actually, let me google it... Okay, so it’s ‘strict’ because you’re not allowed to move any part of your body besides the arm and shoulder doing the lifting. Now we know. Standing tall and with your feet hip-width apart, take your kettlebell in your right hand and bring it to your chest in the ‘rack’ position, which means the heavy part rests on the outside of your forearm. Place your left hand over the kettlebell hand in the classic ‘Please, sir, may I have more’ pose. This is your start and end position. From here, drive the kettlebell up until your arm is straight, then bring it back down through the center of your body and return to the Oliver Twist pose. Be sure to bring it down through the center, or you might injure your shoulder. Try not to use your legs to help spring the weight up, too, and don’t lean back. Core engaged the whole time. Two or three 40-second sets with 20-second rests.
Crush Push-Ups
This one suuuuuuuuuuuucks. Unless you like push-ups, in which case it ruuuuuuuuuuuules. Place the kettlebell (which, again, cost you almost nothing) on the floor with the horns/handle facing away from you, then get down and place your hands on that big, bulbous sucker and start doing push-ups. These are actually really hard if you haven’t done a lot of push-ups before now, so feel free to put your knees down and do some knee push-ups. There’s no shame in that. You’re better off putting your knees down and doing ten knee push-ups in 40 seconds than doing three regular push-ups in 40 seconds and pulling that annoying muscle you can’t get to with a theragun because it hides under your shoulder blade. Just make sure you don’t let anyone see you doing knee push-ups. They won’t respect you.
So, that’s four kettlebell exercises to help build overall strength, improve your running, and help you find that very shallow Mr or Miss Right.
