Welcome to W2E (Welcome to Earth), the part of POSSESSED magazine where we enlighten one of our curious friends from outer space. This month’s letter comes from Chad, who hails from the planet Chunttlebunt 12. Chad writes:
Dear POSSESSED,
My name is Chad, and I am from Chunttlebunt 12, a planet situated just beyond the Milky Way. Even though I’m one quintillion kilometers away from Earth, I still managed to hear about something on your planet called ‘Veganism’. What the heck is that? Sounds like you need a medicated crème for it. LOL.
Wu-Tang Forever,
Chad
Hey Chad! Thanks for your suspiciously timely question! I say suspiciously timely because the star of this month’s issue is one of Earth’s best-known vegans: Scott Jurek.
When it comes to veganism, there are a slew of big names associated, including Joaquin Phoenix, Billie Eilish, Peter Dinklage (rumored to have recently downgraded to pescatarian), Moby, Venus Williams, the RZA, the GZA, Ghostface Killah, Inspectah Deck, Raekwon the Chef, Masta Killa, and pretty much the whole Clan accept for Dirty (Rest in Peace, King), and Meth. There are other famous vegans, of course, but those guys are the first to spring to mind—after Scott Jurek. But we haven’t answered your question. What is veganism?
Veganism is the practice of eating zero animal products. No meat, no milk, no osso buco. You see, Chad, on planet Earth, we hunt and kill other sentient beings for food. Actually, we don’t hunt them anymore. A long time ago, someone got the idea that if you trapped a male and a female ‘food animal,’ they would eventually procreate and you could eat their babies. So, that’s what we do now. We also take their milk. What’s milk? It's a miraculous, nutrition-rich fluid secreted by female mammals—including human female mammals—to feed their young. Milk is white and opaque, and we suck it mostly out of cows and sell it in cartons in supermarkets. According to OWD (Our World Data), we steal around 950 billion liters of milk (250.96 billion gallons) from cows, sheep, goats, etc, each year. Some people don’t agree that it’s theft, but if you stop and think about it, it totally is. It’s not like the cows said, ‘Yes, I would like you to artificially inseminate me so that I lactate, but be sure to also load me up with Bovine somatotropin (growth hormone) so that I produce an abnormal amount of milk. Thank you.’ They never agreed to that shit, the same way they never agreed to being corralled and driven through a terrifying maze that ends with a bolt gun to the skull. Sorry, Chad, I’ve gone all Linda McCartney. Veganism. What is it?
So basically, vegans don’t eat animal products. And they don’t eat animal products for different reasons. One reason is cruelty. Factory farming is revolting. If you can eat a cheeseburger after a trip to your local abattoir, you need to be investigated by the police. Another reason for practicing veganism is the impact that animal agriculture has on the environment. It’s not good, Chad, not good at all. Nearly 15% of global greenhouse gas emissions are generated by farming animals for human consumption, and then there’s the massive deforestation, biodiversity loss, and water pollution it causes. It’s pretty fucked up, but if all that doesn’t make you want to be a vegan, the health benefits will—and that’s a big part of why Scott Jurek is riding the V Train.
The health benefits associated with veganism are myriad. It can help you lose excess weight, improve the function of your kidneys, lower blood sugar levels and the risk of diabetes, and it is very good for your heart. That’s a big one: heart health. If your ticker don’t tick properly, you can find yourself getting loaded into a casket before your time, and no one wants that... The worms want that, but you don’t. The vegan diet is low in saturated fats and cholesterol—two elements that heighten blood pressure and increase the chance of heart disease—and for that reason alone, it’s worth looking into. But then there’s the Big C to think about.
The consumption of meat, particularly red meat, has been linked to cancer. In fact, beef, lamb, and pork have been classified as Group 2A carcinogens, which means they definitely can cause cancer, and processed red meat increases your chances of getting stomach and bowel cancer even more. The vegan diet, because it’s rich in antioxidants and protective compounds, reduces the risk of cancer, especially colorectal and breast cancer. Look it up.
Another wonderful benefit of veganism, especially for athletes, is it greatly reduces inflammation. A plant-based diet ensures rapid recovery times, faster healing of injuries, reduced tendonitis and joint pain, and overall improved immunity. Fruit and vegetables contain thousands of anti-inflammatory compounds and roughly 64 times the antioxidant content found in meat. Meanwhile, meat actually contains pro-inflammatory compounds, and studies have shown that just eating a hamburger can increase inflammation levels by 70%. So, if you finish a big race and then throw a burger down your face, you’re basically punching yourself in the dick, and no one wants that, Chad.
Protect ya neck. Go vegan.
