The Firsts Issue

049

THE FIRSTS ISSUE

JANUARY 2024

Welcome to POSSESSED

First things first, this is not our first issue. I say that because you might be seeing this magazine for the first time, and we want to make sure you know this isn’t our first crack at publishing. In fact, this is issue number 49: The FIRSTS issue, an issue that is all about things that happen, come, or otherwise occur first.

I was almost first once. I was six years old and miles ahead in a running race at the school sports. I remember it vividly. I was out front, a good ten metres ahead of the pack, and when I crossed the finish line, I threw my arms up in the universal sign of victory and began weeping tears of joy. Unfortunately, I had mistaken a different chalk line for the finish line and stopped five meters short of completing the race. Everyone streaked past me. I came dead last. My tears of glory turned to tears of shame and self-loathing, and I haven’t stopped hating God since. Isn’t that a sad little story?

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